Jive Turkey tagged to do a meme. I have to list six of my quirks. My first thought: “Wow, Jive Turkey wants to know more about me!” My next thought: “Damn, how the hell am I going to do this?” Yikes. Thanks, man! But, if this will get me on Jive Turkey’s blogroll…I mean, I was tagged, so I must do it! What a good way to update the blog; it’s been, what, about a decade now? (A life update will be done soon. Maybe.)

1) I must wear shoes at all times. Like Jive Turkey, I almost always wear shoes or slippers around the house. I don’t really even like to just walk around in my socks. Your socks will get all dirty on the bottom. Or worse: Crumbs or dirt could get stuck on there. Or the worst yet: They could get wet. There is nothing more disgusting than wet socks. So I have to wear my shoes. Or my inside flip flops. I had a pair of Adidas slides to wear with socks, but I best be getting new ones before the winter. (Note to all: Those things stink after a while.)

2) I change my clothes at least twice each day. Well, I usually shower at least twice a day. And after I shower in the evening after a run (or after coming home from the store or a restaurant or something), I have to change into different clothes to sit around the house, of course. But they can’t be my pajamas; I can’t go into my bed in clothes that I’ve sat around snacking in. That’s not right. That all started when I was in college. I came back to my room one day to find one of my roommate’s friends sitting on my sheets because I hadn’t made my bed that morning. I flipped out: GET OFF MY SHEETS! I mean, he could’ve sat on the bus in those jeans. Public clothes do NOT belong in your bed. (On a related note, this is when I started making my bed every day, too.)

3) I love to read menus. Whenever someone tells me they went out to dinner, I ask where they went (and what they ate, of course). Even if I’ll never go there, and even though I won’t eat most things on most menus, I’ll go online and try to find the menu. Same with food blogs or The Food Network. I’ll never make any of those recipes, yet I’m constantly reading the blogs or watching a new show. I’ll never cook anything in pork fat like Emeril, I’ll never cook Paula Deen’s recipes (too much butter), and don’t get me started on how long it would take to make one of Alton Brown’s dishes. But I can’t help but watch The Food Network for hours and hours at a time.

4) I get obsessed with the news. If I’m reading an article on something and get really sucked in, I’ll search for everything on the subject, over and over. A celebrity dies? I’ll keep looking them up, as if there will be more information (um, there won’t be; that person is dead). A new political scandal? Great. How many times can I hit refresh on Daily Kos in five minutes? (Answer: I lost count.) A little kid goes missing? Well, you get the idea. I always just want to know the newest information. Probably not so much a quirk as much as it is a mental condition.

5) I can relate almost everything that happens in life back to an episode of The Golden Girls or The Simpsons. (This also applies to Sisters, Thirtysomething, or Arrested Development, but then even fewer people know what the hell I’m talking about.) Basically, I’ll be talking to someone, and I can think of a situation or a quote from one of those shows that works perfectly. This is great when I talk to a coworker (or former ones!) who know what I’m talking about when I say, “You’re only going to sit in an inch of water?” Or the other coworker who knows that if he says something about the Internet, I’m going to say “Internet, eh?” in response. EVERY TIME. But I can’t even help it. I just do it. And people don’t know why I’m saying whatever I’m saying. You might say I watch too much tv. But I would say no, I’m just a pop culture master.

6) I write down everything. Like all these quirks. And I had to check the list a billion times while I wrote it. Sometimes I’ll write a list of things to do when I go home, even if it’s the same things I do every day (such as exercise, shower, and eat dinner, as if I’ll get all confused that this is the order I’ll do things in). And it’s not because I’ll forget.* I can be slightly forgetful, but I don’t forget things I’ll need when I go away for the weekend, for example (note to self: start that list for this weekend’s trip to Toronto already!). It’s more because I might have an OCD. Write a list, check the list, pack the stuff, check the list again, check the stuff again…yikes. Oh, and I worry about the list. Um, I think they’ll have toothpaste wherever I go. But I better not forget it! It would be awful!
*Yes, I will. This wasn’t supposed to be my last quirk, but I forgot the one I thought of earlier.**
**I just remembered that it had something to do with corny jokes and stupid things like making up words like “quirktastic.”

Anyway, if you made it this far, good for you. And I’m sorry. And I was going to tag Kristin, but she said she was grateful that she wasn’t tagged by Turkey. And most of the (few) people who read this blog don’t have blogs of their own (I mean, who reads this crap anyway?). But feel free to share your quirks in the comments! Just don’t share anymore of mine.

The newest nephew arrived tonight, a bit early, but healthy and happy! He showed up at 8:50 p.m., weighs 5 pounds, 12 ounces, and is a beautiful little guy. Mommy and baby (and Pops!) are doing great. He’ll be known as NN on the blog from now on, which stands for newest nephew, obviously. And how great is it that he showed up in time for Shabbat Nachamu? Welcome to the world, Nephew (Shabbat) Nachamu (another NN)!

1) Bad drivers. Why do you drive so far under the speed limit? If the limit is 55 mph, I expect to be going at least 60, not 40. And why don’t you turn on your lights when it’s raining? And it’s a MERGE lane, not a come-to-a-complete-stop lane.

2) When people move my stuff in the fridge at work, I’m guessing to get their stuff behind it, why do they put it on a completely different shelf so I have to search for it? Put it back where it was. And keep your filthy hands off my stuff, anyway (please see this previous post for more on the subject).

3) Exercising daily and eating healthy but still being a fat slob.

4) People who read while walking. Unless you’re reading a map because you’re lost, please put the books down while you’re walking down the street. You’re all over the sidewalk and, therefore, in my way.

5) Smoking. I just don’t understand it. It’s such a waste of money, for starters. And you’re killing yourself and everyone around you. And you stink. Really. When you come inside after going out for a smoke, no amount of perfume or cologne can cover it up. You’re polluting my air. Stop that. And you stink. Did I mention that?

6) Why do my stats say people find my site when looking up Dinah Manoff? I’ve never discussed my love for Empty Nest on here. Nor have I mentioned how many times I’ve seen Grease (approximately 915 1/2 times). I mentioned this to someone, who said maybe it has something to do with writing about The Golden Girls, since Empty Nest was a spin-off of that. Interesting theory. Still a bit weird.

7) I was able to get on my blog at work only one day last week, then it crapped out on me again. But I can get on pretty much any other site that isn’t blocked by my company (and no, the blog isn’t blocked, a different message comes up). Pretty frikkin’ irritating.

Today is my sister Rachel’s birthday. And twice today when I mentioned this, I got this response: “Oh, so it’s your birthday, too!” No, it’s not; I have more than one sister, folks.

So happy birthday, Ray! I thought I’d celebrate your birthday with our song:

1) Working full-time and still being broke.

2) Hygiene confusion: Why do so many women at work brush their teeth 900 times a day but can’t seem to remember to use soap to wash their hands?

3) Spanish. Except for the word for retirement: jubilación. Those Spanish speakers got that one right.

4) Being able to get up early enough two days in a row to go for a run before work when going to bed the night before after 1 a.m., but then going to bed by 11 p.m. and oversleeping. And then still feeling exhausted. Explain THAT one to me.

5) Voting Republican.

There are a lot more things I don’t understand, but a lot of them aren’t so family-friendly (i.e., I don’t want to be disowned). I may come back and add some more later anyway.

Look, I’m here posting first thing in the morning! I’ve already been out for a run, and now I’m online checking Facebook and updating the blog, all before work. How exciting! And if that’s not enough, what exciting things can I update you on? Well, let’s see. I guess all that’s new is that Sam’s getting married! Yes, craziness. Sam apparently met his beshert (Henny, “as in Penny?” I asked him) while in Israel this summer, and they are now engaged. So that’s been the big news of the week. So with that and two new babies, this family is having a very happy year. Let’s keep it up, folks.

And how are you this morning?

Picture it: Albany, 2008. I’m at work. I go online to check the news and read something very sad.

Estelle Getty died today, just three days before her 85th birthday. Anyone who knows me knows my love for The Golden Girls. Or you should, anyway. I can watch the same episode one hundred times (oh, and I have) and still laugh like it’s the first time I’m seeing it. Estelle Getty played Sophia, of course, and she was the perfect little old lady. Here are some of my favorite Sophia moments (well, that I could find on You Tube; the last two clips are among my favorite Sophia lines, and I hope to find one more of my absolute favorites, so check back!).

It’s been almost two weeks since I’ve written anything! I’m sure you all (?) have been wondering what’s going on (please say it like The Crazy Guy would), so here’s a recap…cheers and jeers style.

Cheers to a great party! The Pie celebrated her birthday with family and friends, lots of food, and lots of fun. And, as she said yesterday after making her own braid in her hair, she’s really five now!

Cheers to that long weekend! Friday was July 4th, and then I took the following Monday off from work to spend with the family. Mama and I tried to take The Pie and The Crazy Guy (TCG) berry picking. Jeers to getting there only to find that the raspberries were gone and the blueberries weren’t quite ready. How about updating your website, folks? We decided to go for ice cream and to the park. Despite TCG saying “no want to pick ice cream,” we had good times.

Jeers to going back to work. It hasn’t been fun. Speaking of work, I haven’t been able to access the blog there for the last two days. It’s not blocked by their network (I’ve tried to get to sites that are), but it won’t connect to the server (something I don’t know much about nor have access to). It’s a bit (meaning extremely) annoying.

Jeers to infections. I had a bump on my knee that turned all red and swollen. Turns out it was some sort of infection (which has since been treated; nothing a little antibiotics couldn’t fix!). Cheers to Mama, who insisted on taking me to Urgent Care to have it looked at. Jeers that the doctor there insisted that I follow up in a month with my primary to make sure I don’t have Lyme disease. Can one get that from an ingrown hair? Because I don’t believe that was an insect bite on my knee. (More like lame disease.)

Cheers that #1 brother-in-law, who had to leave his family to go back to work, came back at the end of the week! Jeers to him taking everyone away on Sunday. Jeers to the pre-departure brunch. Now, I’m normally all about brunch. But I was seriously illin’ after that one. But cheers to their safe return and to their move into their new house today!

Jeers to losing it. Not me. Miriam thought she lost her backpack (well, that’s actually mine) after coming home from camp. The backpack had her wallet, phone, and camera in it. She thought she left it on the bus; calls to the bus company said otherwise. Then she thought maybe she left it at camp. So we took a ride out there (forty minutes each way). Not there. A very long, worrisome night followed. Morning came, and so did the bus…with Miriam’s stuff still on it, right where she told them it was. Cheers to everything still being there! Jeers to a bunch of wasted time and to bus drivers who obviously don’t look where they said they did.

Jeers to our flood. Well, not yet. But our water heater (or furnace, depending on who you ask) is dripping again. Our landlord says not to worry. So I’m worrying.

Cheers to being one year old! I missed my actual blogversary, but However Absurd debuted on July 5, 2007 with this post. Feel free to go through the archives if you’re a newer reader (or go back and read your favorite posts that you remember so fondly if you’ve been following all along; posts from the previous blog are in the archives, too). I hope to spend the next year writing a whole lot more than I did my first year. (On a related note, I keep getting a message that a new version of WordPress is available. However (absurd), I’ve been afraid to update it like it tells me to because, again, I don’t have access to the server the site is on and I’m nervous that by clicking on the “please update now” link, I’ll screw everything up and the whole site will crap out. Can anyone give me any guidance on this?)

Cheers that this post is finally complete! So…what have you been up to?