Happy birthday to my youngest niece! The Duck turns three today! She’s not really a duck. But she is a sweet, funny, fantastic little girl. I’m sad that I won’t see you today, youngest niece…but I’ll see you tomorrow! I love you!

Hi Mom,
 
Happy Mother’s Day!  A day late.  I know I got you a card and wished you a happy Mother’s Day in person, but still.  I have a blog.  Bloggers should be writing something on their blogs for their mothers.  On time.  But instead, what did I do?

Nothing this adorable, I assure you.

On Saturday night, I told you that your gift will be late…because I hadn’t ordered it yet. ( I usually make my mother a calendar with pictures of her grandchildren, which I create and order online.  Hadn’t done it.  She told me she wanted something else anyway, so I guess that worked out.) 
 
I woke up Sunday morning and handed you your card while you were on the phone.  Then I cried all morning.  Celebration!  I hope you enjoyed it!

I want you!…to stop crying and to not get me another calendar.

Then I went shopping while you were working.  Great way to spend Mother’s Day together, right?  I promised to be back early to start prepping dinner, which you requested we (Miriam and I) make instead of taking you out. 

Even though you took us out to dinner for our birthday just the week before (post pending).

We didn’t get back early.  And then we handed you the gift you said you wanted (a digital photo frame).  But we didn’t wrap it.  And I didn’t load photos on it yet.  Here you go!  And dinner was late, of course.  
 
Worst. Daughter. Ever.

To be clear, the worst daughter ever is wearing the pink scarf.

But every day should be Mother’s Day, right?  We should be thankful each and every day that we have the best mother in the world (strange how we all have the best mother, but there you go).  I should thank you every day for everything you’ve done and continue to do for me.  That shouldn’t happen on one Sunday a year.  And so I’m extending the celebration by writing this post a day late.  Yeah, that’s why.  
 

My mom: Kickin’ ass every day of the year!

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! I love you.

Happy birthday, Miriam!  My sister Miriam turns 32 today.  She’s my twin sister, of course, so that means today is my 32nd birthday, too.  That’s how it works when you’re identical twins.  Do you think we look alike?

Let’s get together, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Miriam and I exchanged gifts on Wednesday night, mostly because she asked me to stop by her apartment and since her heavy gift was already in my trunk, I had her help me bring it inside. (It was another set of dishes and mugs for her new place.  She now has eight place settings, so she has no excuse for not inviting all of my readers over for brunch.)  When Miriam gave me my gift, I was shocked.  Actually, let me take a step back: I thought we had an unspoken pact to not get each other gifts.  Apparently, I was wrong.  I accidentally found out that she had gotten me a gift.  It worked out since she needed that second set of dishes.  Anyway, back to my shock.  I was sure she got me this:

She didn’t, which means I still have to get it.

Instead, she got me this:

Whoa.

I know, right?  I don’t even think I smiled at first because I was so surprised.  Thanks, Moo!  I’ve been wanting a new camera for a long time, actually, since the one I had sucks and I haven’t used it in years.  I feel bad that she spent so much money on me.  But I love it!  I need to learn how to use all the settings.  Miriam came over that night for dinner, and afterward, I made us some smoothies, which were the subjects of my first photos on my new camera.

I was double fisting the beverages.  It was a hot night.

Miriam seemed to enjoy her smoothie immensely.

So that was the other day.  I took today off from work.  Happy birthday to me!  I actually didn’t sleep so well.  I guess my brain really wanted to see parts of the royal wedding.  I did tune in when I woke up around 6 a.m., which was after the ceremony had already started.  I was up again around 8 or so, in plenty of time to see the newlyweds on the balcony at Buckingham Palace for their first (and second!) kiss.  They’re cute.  I slowly got myself up and moving and out the door for a run.  It’s a beautiful day for one!  I love not having to bundle up to go out; I actually wore capris and a short-sleeved shirt.  Sometimes it’s still very cold on my birthday despite it being practically May, so that’s nice.  When I came home, I made myself these:

Birthday pancakes!  That I can’t format properly on the blog (I wanted them to be side by side).

I also made these muffins for a gathering tomorrow night:

Banana chocolate chip, of course!

I made them with whole wheat pastry flour this time, so I had to make sure they tasted alright:

On my plate.  And soon after in my belly.

That last picture is there just because I wanted to show off my skills on my new camera.  But I do work in quality assurance, and I assure you, it was delicious.  And I assure you that I do a better job than this quality assurance guy:

Although I’m equally creepy.

Anyway, this post is super long.  And the day has just begun!  I’m off to get ready to go pick up my mom; she’s traveling back from Toronto today, but her bus doesn’t come here, so I’m taking a drive to go pick her up. I figure that since she went to all that trouble to give birth to me 32 years ago, the least I can do is go deliver her from her bus stop to her home. The plan is to go out to dinner after that.  I hope to be back with some photos of that fun event tomorrow!

It’s been almost an entire month since I updated my blog, and it’s been a busy one at that.  Shall I update you in cheers and jeers style?  Okay, then, I will.
 
Cheers to family! At the beginning of April, Mama, Miriam, and I attended our cousin’s bridal shower.  We also got to see my grandmother (Mama’s mother) and most of Mama’s sisters. The wedding is at the end of next month; most of the family is going, and it’ll be a fun time. This week has been filled with family time, since the northern nieces and nephew, along with their parents and my grandmother, are in town celebrating Passover. Jeers that the southern nephew isn’t here to hang out with us.  But cheers to seeing him next month!
 
Jeers to Passover (besides the family time mentioned above, of course).  It’s so much work to prepare…and costs so much money.  And I miss peanut butter.  And my Stonyfield yogurt (perhaps you can go kosher for Passover next year, Stonyfield?). 
 
Jeers to being sick.  I’ve had a horrible cold for a week now.  It got really bad this past weekend, when I started to lose my voice and hack up a lung. Cheers to improving a lot over the last day or so, but I’m still hacking and blowing my nose.  I sound pretty gross.  Sorry, people around my cubicle.
 
Jeers to the lack of exercise in my life for the last week.  I’m still walking on my breaks at work, which is equal to a bit more than 3.6 miles, but mentally, it’s not enough for me.  I haven’t fit it in for various reasons (see above list).  But I’m going for a run today before dinner!  I swear!  And I hope to get back on track this weekend.  I feel out of sorts when I don’t keep to my workout schedule (which isn’t really a schedule; I just usually do some sort of workout every day).  All the matzah doesn’t help either.
 
Jeers to being a failure as a blogger.  How many times am I going to promise to blog more often and then wait a month to write anything?  (Answer: At least a few more times.) Cheers to not having much work to do today!  I was originally going to make that a jeer, since lack of work makes me think about all the other things I could be doing with my time instead of sitting here at my desk, but it allowed me to write this post, so that deserves a cheer, right?  (You know what doesn’t deserve a cheer?  That run-on sentence I just wrote.  Stream of consciousness, anyone?)
 
So this was a boring list.  Anyone have any cheers or jeers to add?  Oh wait, I have one more!
 
Cheers to Earth Day!  That’s today.  And I unintentionally wore my “recycle” shirt today, too!  (Seriously, it’s just a coincidence. It’s the shirt I had to wear today. Related note:  I need more clothes.)  If you’re not celebrating Passover (or even if you are, I won’t judge), go to Starbucks with your reusable mug and you’ll get a free coffee!  I can’t think of a better way to celebrate Earth Day than with free coffee. Just make sure you walk there; don’t go through the drive-thru.

That’s when I was in Toronto!  I went to visit the northern nieces and nephew (and their parents).  I had a great drive up on Saturday and got such a nice greeting when arrived at their house!  We had lots of good times, which included such things as a visit to Claire’s for many pairs of earrings, a walk through a zoo to see various animals like a yak and a peacock, and a short time at a very muddy park (one of us didn’t have proper footwear, so that person couldn’t participate in the fun and watched from the sidelines).

My sister was on March break, so we spent Monday together.  We began the day with a stop at Tim Hortons for our morning coffee.  They’re in the middle of their annual RRRoll Up The Rim campaign, so when I finished my cup, I did as I was instructed.

Apparently, rolling up the rim is a difficult skill for this American to master.

#winning

I won!  Beginner’s luck? Now, I guess I should clarify that Tim Hortons is giving away many things, including TVs and cars.  And I won a free coffee. That’s right.  I looked that excited about winning something that’s worth less than a buck fifty. The truth is, the family luck for big wins was used up years ago when our brother won a free trip to L.A.  So yay!  I won something!

So on Tuesday morning, my sister and I went out to breakfast before I got on the road to go home.  After eating, we went back to her house, and I got in my car, which I hadn’t touched since I parked it when I arrived on Saturday afternoon.  I thought something sounded weird as I pulled away from the curb, but I continued on to claim my free coffee at the Tim Hortons on the way out of town.  As I was getting out of my car at the gas station/coffee shop, someone in the car next to me yelled out the window that the front tire on the passenger side looked quite low.  I thanked him, and then the man standing and smoking a cigarette in front of the place said I should ask the lady inside to turn on the machine so I can fill the tire.  I thanked him, too, and was rather nervous about the whole thing.  After claiming my free coffee (the lady there was quite happy to give it to me, I should mention!), I did something that surprised even me: I asked the smoker if he wouldn’t mind giving me a hand filling my tire.  He laughed a bit but walked right toward the machine.  As he helped me do it, I rambled on in my nervousness that I was traveling that day, and he suggested that I go somewhere and get my tire checked, just in case I had a leak.  I got super nervous then, so I got in touch with my sister, who went with me to get it checked out.

There’s my car, which I was sure needed a new tire.

I was sad because I was not doing what the sign above my head said.

Turns out that the smoker was right: I had a leak around the rim.  They patched it, and it only cost me $32! Thank you, Canadian Tire!  And thank you to the random strangers who helped me out.  Even though I heard that sound as I pulled away from the curb, my car didn’t feel off, and I may not have noticed that the tire needed air until I was on the highway and it was too late.  And I may have just filled the tire with air and taken off anyway.  I drank a few cups of coffee at breakfast, so it’s a good thing I won that free cup the day before!  Otherwise, I may not have stopped for coffee on my way out of town.  (Who am I kidding?  I probably would’ve stopped anyway.  I must have coffee when traveling!) 

I had another great drive back home.  And I’ve been meaning to share this story with you ever since.

Holy crap.  It’s been weeks since I updated my blog.  I know you’ve been checking everyday and thinking WTF?  Me too.  I’ve also been thinking about winning the future!  No, that’s not what WTF stands for here.  I mean, you’ve been thinking about waffling the fries. 

Go to 1:10 for waffle fry goodness.

Okay, let’s get serious.  We all know this is a family-friendly blog, so I can’t tell you that WTF stands for “What the fuck?”  So let’s move on.

The last few weeks have been super busy in However Absurd Land.  And the next few will be busy as well.  Here are some highlights:

1) I’ve been working on a project for a few extra bucks.  So my computer time has been spent entering data, which is one reason why I haven’t blogged.

2) Miriam is moving, so there’s been lots of stuff going on with that, including sorting through our stuff to see what she can take, since I’m not moving with her.

3) While Miriam is moving next weekend, I’ll be driving up to Toronto to visit the northern nieces and nephew!  I can’t wait to see them (and their parents, of course)!

4) I forgot to mention that I’m typing this on my new computer!  I got this fancy number a couple of weeks ago to replace my laptop that I’ve had for a few years (it’s only crashed three or four times and is super slow; that’s all).  I didn’t think I’d like it at first, but I do.  And I don’t have to keep it plugged in at all times either!  Wow, a laptop with actual laptop capabilities!  What a concept!

And I guess that’s all. The days seem busier than my blog would indicate.  I hope to be back soon!

And no, I don’t mean because I’m actually posting something. 

First, here’s more of the same:

Has this been the longest winter ever?

This picture was taken about a week and a half ago.  Luckily, this was the last big snowstorm we’ve had.  And I mean that: It better be the last big snowstorm we have this year.

Look at all that snow behind my sad, sad face.  I’m over you, winter.

So, now for the something different.  I’ve never put a video on my blog before.  This “accent vlog” has been making its way around the blog world, and I thought it was interesting, so I made my own video last week!  And now I’m finally posting it.  I hope you like it, despite the fact that I sound like a bit of a tool.  Here are the list of words and questions you’ll hear me read and answer:

Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught

• What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
• What is the bug that, when you touch it, it curls into a ball?
• What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
• What do you call gym shoes?
• What do you say to address a group of people?
• What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
• What do you call your grandparents?
• What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
• What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
• What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

So do I sound totally weird?  Most of you who read my blog already know what I sound like, and I’m angry that you didn’t tell me that this is what I sound like!  I need to go back to my radio show tapes from college to see if I sounded like this on those.  Yikes.  Anyway, do you all say those words like that?  And would you answer any of those questions differently?  Also, I’m a little sad that Paul’s face on my Beatles poster got blocked out by the reflection of my light, which you may notice I’m trying to cover up with my big ol’ noggin.

Check back soon for some new content!  I still have photos from my mom’s birthday dinner to put up here.  And I should have something new on Tuesday to share with you!

She’s 60!

Today is my mother’s birthday.  And what do you say to the woman who gave you life? Who worked super hard to make sure you had everything you needed? Who made sure you and your four siblings went to college, even when some of you didn’t want to (that’d be me)? Who is always there for you (and her other children and her grandchildren) when you (all) really need her?

And she’s fun on a road trip (she told me so!).

And so on.  I guess you just say thank you.  Thank you for everything you’ve given me and everything you’ve taught me.

Including how to clean up well.

Happy birthday, Mama!  May you live to 120!  You’re halfway there; keep it up.

And that’s just the way to do it!