Why? Because my apartment exploded. Well, the drains did.

Miriam and I were watching a movie. The volume was up high (to 11!) because I can never hear movies well. It was storming out also. All of a sudden, I told Miriam that it sounds like the noise on our TV (bombs in the movie) was coming from our kitchen. We went in there to find our sink exploding. Seriously. It wasn’t just water coming out of our drain. Black water was spewing like a geyser up from the drain all over the kitchen. We didn’t know what to do. I grabbed some stuff off the counter and started to freak out. After it finally stopped, we found that the two bathrooms were also flooded, and some water was seeping through the kitchen wall to the other side in the living room. Fun! And guess what? We don’t have a super or an emergency contact; our landlord swears she checks her machine over the weekend in case of an emergency, but she sure wasn’t in touch with us last night. So after making some phone calls and having the dude who flushed the building’s pipes after ours exploded came in and told us it was safe to use the water, we started cleaning. Well, first we had to go out and buy a mop and extra cleaning supplies. Then we came back to face this:

kitchen-sink

Where it all started: the kitchen sink. If only we hadn’t been freaking out so much, we could’ve taken a video.

stove-and-fridge

And I forgot to take pictures of what was behind and underneath the stove and fridge: black lakes.

my-poor-coffee-pot

My poor coffee pot.

miriams-lunch-bag

Miriam promptly disposed of her lunch bag.

scary-me

I am aghast at the state of kitchen. And the state of my very white legs. Suck it, this was my cleaning outfit.

I’ll spare you the rest of the pictures, which includes our flooded bathrooms and linen closet, as well as the seepage of water from the kitchen to the living room. After the late-night run to the store and much scrubbing and scrubbing (and scrubbing), we finished cleaning everything: at 5 a.m.

all-clean

The kitchen, minus the filth.

everything-is-clean

The kitchen has never been so clean! Everything is drying.

kitchen-floor

I kept saying that I needed to get down on my hands and knees and clean the floor, and now I finally did. Thanks, backed-up pipes, for forcing me to do it.

I slept from a little after six until eight or so (8:30ish, maybe), then decided I’d go to work around 11:00. (Miriam fell asleep around 5:30, barely remembered calling in to work, and then also decided to go in around 11:00. What can I say? We’re hard workers! And we need money.) I couldn’t go earlier because, since I was home anyway, I tried to get Paul McCartney tickets: epic fail. Then I stayed at work until 6:00, and while driving home, I noticed that something was hitting my car. I pulled in to the CVS parking lot…and was stuck in my car in the middle of a huge hail storm. The storm and the hail were both huge. And it was scary. Then I drove through some horrible fog on the way home. And now I think I’ve had enough of ridiculous weather to last me a lifetime. But I finally got home, safely, and the apartment was dry. Can’t say the same for me. I earned that glass of wine!