My father died twenty years ago today. I don’t have too much to say, actually, but I will share this. When I was in college, I took a creative writing course. We had to submit a collection of poems. Now, poems are certainly not my strength, so I waited until the last minute to write any of them; in fact, looking at the date on the file, I think I wrote them the night before they were due. And I’ve only shared a couple of them (reluctantly) with my family. But I’m going to post the one I wrote about my father here. Why? Because it’s not too bad; it’s decent, anyway. And I think it sums up a lot of what I feel about my dad and what I’ll be thinking about today.
Daddy and me, circa 1982
DADDY
Why were you taken from me?
I was so young—
so were you.We never got to do all the things other fathers and daughters do—
I never got too old to fit in your lap,
never fought about a date,
never will dance together at my wedding.Hardly any memories remain,
and no chance to make new ones.I tell people what you were like,
but I’m a liar—
because I never really knew you.
so how can I pretend I did?You’ll never get to know the person I’ve become—
or will you?
Are you watching over me?
Do I even believe that you can?I still love you, Daddy—
and when I look at photos,
I see you looking back at me,
and I smile—
because my face resembles yours.
Maybe I do know you after all.
2 Users Commented In This Post
2-14-2008 at 14:41:10
I, too, am thinking about Daddy today. Just listened to our song a few times, as a matter of fact. Twenty years feels like such a big number. I love you, Daddy.
2-15-2008 at 08:20:47
I, too, spent much of the day reflecting on Bob and all the special gifts and memories he left me. Sam, Adam, Rachel, Miriam and Sara are part of both of us. Twenty years - sometimes it feels like yesterday and other days it seem like ancient history.
It makes me sad when I think that Eitan and Audrey never had the pleasure of meeting him and that he never had the pleasure of being with Maya, Roby and all the granchildren to come.
May you always rest in peace Bobby. I love you.
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